My dimpled double eye lid boi~!

These are some simple pics of my kenny boi.... look at him!! Dimples and double eye lid!! What a great gift from God.

Anyway, life nowadays is just pumping milk, sterilizing and washing glass bottles, pumping, sterilizing and washing.... the cycle goes on.

Really tired with all the pumping that I have to do every 3 hourly but then... if I don't pump, what will kenny boi drink? wateva.... just hope that this gd ss that I have established will continue..

Shifting to normal ward

Walking through the Valley Part 3....

It's been some days since I've last posted anything... but it was due to the high bp that I'm still experiencing... constant dizzy spells that make me sick and just very frustrated with myself.

ANyway, after all the preparation, it was time for me to go into OT at around 2:45am on 14th April 2009.

2:45am:

- the group of doctors decided that before I am pushed into the OT, I must be given 4 doses of magnesium *something....haha*. Imagine having such high doses of pure magnesium in our body.... I just remember that it made my body sooooooooooooooooo super hot... it was burning... and 4 doses, well, it just made me feel like X-men in the making and I really started to tear and break down....

- drs explained the necessity of administering these dosages as the probability of me developing fits and convulsions during the Op is high and it will pose as a danger.

- b4 being pushed, I asked Kit to read me a verse from the bible.... turned out to be Psalms 23. It talks abt the Lord being our Shepherd and walking through the valleys of DEath. Yes, I was initially soooo sad when I hear this Psalms. Is it a sign that things are growing bad? However, thank GOd for His almighty comfort.
I remember tat we used to have a song written in church (recorded in the CD "WArrior Bride") and it goes, "When I walk through the valleys that tries my faith, I will not be shaken but choose to praise!"

- Indeed, God has chosen tis hr not for me to wallow in sorrow but to rejoice. Only through the power of worship will we be able to triumph!

2:50am

- pushed into OT and was really scared initially. however, remembered God's words in the Psalm that He revealed to Kit. I shall praise and have no fear.

- Dr Edwin and all are ready. As they were administering the GA, I began to hear singing. THank God for placing 2 Christian Anaesthetists in the OT. They knew of my fear and they decided that as they were putting me to sleep, the best thing to do is to sing for me. Hallelujah! God was in the OT tat day! He has placed his angels to be there with me!!

- Baby was out soon safely but small @ 1.6kg.

- The rest as they say, is history. As the syndrome has left me in a bad shape, I had to be warded in the WICU for 2 whole days.

- During this time, I was given 4 blood transfusions and 2 platelet transfusions.

- A small little episode after I came out of the OT happened at around 5+am after KIt returned home.

- I started 2 round of uncontrolled bleeding and the surgeons and everyone was activated again to save me. Thank God for His mercy. The bleeding stopped in time.

Through it all, I spent 2 days in WICU, 1 day in POA (Post Operation Observation Area) and 2 days in the normal ward. Through this episode, I willl like to thank:

1. Our Father, Our HEaler, Our wonderful GOd for all the plans that He made for me. Through it all, He was there. Remember, God has plans not to harm us, but through everything, He plans to prosper us. There is nothing too difficult for Him. All we need to do is just trust, worship and Praise Him.

2. Kit. Thanks for being there and sorry for being such a lousy wife making you go through such an ordeal. It must have been tiring for you to run to and from home just to pack my things, to bring my food, to be there for me. Thanks for loving me sooo much. No diamond rings in this world compares to what you have proven to me abt our love being the most sincere and most beautiful thing of all.

3. Our parents. Sorry for not informing you all abt my progress in the hospital.THings have moved too fast and we were unable to know what will be happening next. We didn't wnt to cause unnecessary worry. Thanks for taking care of the kids and cooking confinement food for me.


4. To TPY 179 cell group-- Trinity Christian Centre. Thanks to all for your fervent prayers and smses to find out how we are and what help we need. Thanks also for asking the church to pray for us @ 8:30am service. Without your prayers, I wouldn't have had been calm and had the energy to go through everything. I wouldn't have remembered that Worship is the only weapon I have against the enemy. Thanks Trinitarians! you have made me sooo happy to be in this big family! God is good, all the time!!!

5. To our wonderful bosses and colleagues in SAJS and UniSim. Thanks for praying with us and being so understanding when we had to take leave. Thanks also for the encouragement and trust in us. WE will put in the best in our work.

6. Our friends. Thanks for the support and encouragement given during this period of time. Thanks for the jokes and time spent visiting us and the constant smses to find out how we are. U guys are the best support that we have in times of need!!

7. Dr Cheng Jew Ping, nurse Jenny and SErene. Thanks for visiting me at the earliest possible time when I was transferred into the normal ward. Thanks for being there with your sms and kind advise and counsel immediately. I love you guys!!!

8. Dr Edwin Thia and the whole medical team which was there through it all on the night of my Op. U guys are the best and may God Bless you all!! Dr THia, though you had no obligations to see me everyday,I thank you for your dedication in seeing me through each and every day of my stay, ensuring that everything is speedy and ok for me. God bless your hands and heart. God bless you for being the best doctor.

Walking through the Valley... Part 2

After the entire episode and wishing and praying deep down to be able to go home, it was alas to no avail.

The substitute Dr recommended that the most impt thing is to get me to KKH immediately. I was in shock.

Reasons?
1. Scared sthing serious may happen...
2. YEt to settle Giselle and Kaelynn... i miss sleeping with them at night!
3. Pls God, don't let me deliver in a public hospital!!!~~~~~I don't want any other drs to deliver me and also,
4. I'm not sure what to expect and what lies ahead of me and I HATE THE UNEXPECTED!!

Arrived at KKH at 6pm and the whirlwind of events that just flew past me was overwhelming.

- Arrived at the 24hrs Women's Clinic and told by an amah, "33 weeks pregnant must go delivery suite.... cannot come here! down here is only for below 33 weeks!"

- Excuse me, I'm here to be observed not for delivery... y go delivery suite??!!

- As the pain in my tummy was gg haywire, Kit decided for me to sit near the lift lobby so that he can check out the place before we decide where to go.

- Nurse asked Kit to bring me into Delivery Suite and I was shocked. Nurse replied,"y u so shy?? Come here no A&E one... everything got procedure. Must report here at Delivery Suite before we assess/ward u."

-PLEASE!!!!!! What kind of procedure is that??!!!Anyway, it just bodes ill when she proceeded to send me into DS(Delivery Suite) 12. Dr-in-charge: Dr Edwin Thia

8:00pm
- Contractions started to kick in slightly. Was hooked to the CTG, Catheter and also did a series of blood test as the doc and staff nurse in charge took my BP and it was still horrendously high.

- Dr Edwin came in and *gasp* he is a young doc!!

- 1st thought: Can trust a not??!!!!

- Dr Edwin explained that my case is a really serious one and the only way is to deliver the baby. He also informed us that if my BP is getting lower, then most prob he will be able to deliver the next morning. But if BP is still high, may need immediate C-sec.

- 1st shock came in: Blood results 1st round shows that all my results are haywire. Liver and lungs are already affected and the levels of acid in blood is either unusually high or low.

- Dr Edwin decides to give me steroid injections for my baby to help mature his lungs. He assured me that this will be the most painful injection of my life and there are 2 doses to complete. If time allows, KEndrick will get the 2 full doses. If not, even 1 dose will have to do the trick.

- Kit decide to go hme to pack my things and we were still laughing and thinking that okay its gg to be a huge scare after all.... nothing to worry... but just in case, I decided to msg all our frens. Hopefully with the power of prayers will help!! It will, it will it will!!!

10pm
- just finished watching 乒乓圆. maybe i shld just take a nap and forget everything.

- dr Edwin comes into DS 12 looking serious. he needs to operate immediately as the 2nd set of results reveal worse findings.

- I called Kit to hurry back as there were many papers to sign...Dr Edwin went on to book the OT

- Once Kit arrived, Dr Edwin immediately sat down to explain to us how critical and crucial time was now in delivering the baby. Although I knew time was of essence, i couldn't accept that I will be delivering in this situation. I really really really do not trust that this is happening!!

- At this pt in time, I will like to really thank Dr Edwin for answering all my ridiculous qns at the pt in time. I believe if I had been this dr, I wld have just knock the patient out and just operate.

List of stupid qns i asked:
a. Y are u so young? CAn trust u?
b. How abt giving me GA? (Dr Edwin told me no GA was allowed as I will be completely gone and it may lead to serious implications eg fits)
c. U are so young...
d. how abt the cord blood banking i signed up for??!! does that mean I can't bank bb's cord for other's use now??!!
e. R u Christian??? I really want Christian dr to op me!! (Guess he's not but just to pacify me, he allowed me to pray for his hands so that operation will go on smoothly)
f. u're still too young....but i trust u Doc!

--> Through it all, Dr Edwin just smiled and laughed and explained patiently that he knows wat he is doing. I learnt for once there's nothing now except "Trust in the Lord with all your heart"

HELLP Syndrome.... this is wat i was diagnosed with!

To all my dearest friends (esp pregnant mummies),

This is the Critical and Dangerous disease which I was suffering from. It just struck me when i least expected.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HELLP_syndrome

I am still trying to find a support group here in Singapore for this disease and apparently there aren't. If there had been more info given earlier, I believe it would have been more useful.

IF anyone in the big wide world out there knows of a support group here in Singapore, please let me know. I will like to join and learn how to cope with it and also what can be done to help HELLP preemies.

Thanks!!

Baby Kendrick's picture

When I walk through the Valley of Death...Part 1

Have been a long time since I posted and it was a truly trying time for me the past week as I journeyed through the most difficult part of my life.

Here's just a simple time line of events which happened so that when i look back in life, I will be able to remember the Lord's Goodness and His everlasting love.

13/04/09

2pm:
- Kit took the day off to accompany me to Dr Chan's clinic. Although i appeared to be ok and feels ok, sthing inside me was feeling nagging me. Brushed it aside that it will be due to my nervousnesss as Dr Chan has already warned me that if my BP is still high, i may need to be warded in KK for observations.

3pm:
- Arrived at Dr Chan's clinic but there wasn't anyone as Dr Chan was away on vacation and only 1 nurse was on duty. We assumed that since she's still out and Kit and I have yet to lunch, we went to Paragon for some food. Called the nurse to make sure that I will be having an appointment and she wanted me to be down at 3:30pm to take BP in case it gets very high and I will need to be referred to another doctor.
- Food arrived and at the same time, I felt the same tiring, painful knots in my upper abdomen. Didn't really want to voice out to Kit as i was worried that he will think I'm just worrying too much.

3:45pm:
- Arrived at OG Clinic. Nurse took my weight. Great news! It seems that I have gained weight. (Unfortunately, it was due to my water starting to retain in my liver and lungs. A starting point for the worse to come...)
- Took the Urine test. Failed 1st test. Protein level in urine is too high at 3+++. Started to worry as I could feel severe pains in stomach. Kit could sense me tensing up and he started to reassure me that nothing was wrong just becos I was panicking that's the reason for the tummy ache.

3:50pm:
- After a short rest and taking some warm water, we decided that I have rested enough and I appear to be better able to take BP. (Haha a lil playing cheat here...)

- BP results out. Nurse looked at me and told me its at a high of 190/110. It was
wayyyy too high. We decided for me to lie down and try again after 5 mins.

- 2nd BP results: 180/110.

- Nurse didn't want to risk anything more. I was sent to the next doctor @ Far EAst Plaza for further advice. SHIT!!! I really wanted to Kill myself. What have I gotten myself into??!! Is baby safe??!!!!!

4:10pm:
- I didn't want to risk having another level of high BP... so I told Kit that I want to take a taxi from MT E to Far EAst. I believe in normal days, just to save the $$, I would have gladly walked and do some shopping at the same time. But this time,I will gladly spend the $$ just to make sure everything is safe and most importantly, I just want to be at home. With my gers, with Kit.

Visit to Gynae again and again and again.......

Will be making a trip down to Dr Chan's today (in fact every few days now) as he needs to know my Blood Pressure again, again, again and again....

Wonder if its good/ bad to be on hospitalization leave, miss out so much work and have to be confined at home without doing confinement haha....

Good things abt being on leave:
1. Can rest and rest and rest and rest (till I have insomnia at night... kehehe)
2. Preparing the stuff that bb needs before he arrives.
3. Surf the net like no one's biz.
4. Can try to forget abt hsework for a while (but then i worry too much.... end up doing more hsework and bp rises again... grrr... )
5. Fetch Gi and Kae everyday when the school bus is here!!! (Happy times are made of sharing an ice cream cone with them bought from 7-11, gg to playground for just 5 mins... arrrghhhh joys of motherhood!!)

Bad things abt being on leave:
- What will my boss think???
- What will my colleagues think??
- Will I be fired??!!!
- Worry abt $$$
- Imagination takes flight for the worse things in life.... eg: worry abt bb's weight every week, worry abt hsehold chores, worry abt 2 gers spiritual and emotional growth, worry abt my mental state.
- Worries, Worries, Worries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1st Grand Entry for myself~~!

It's been a while since I've blogged.... and this time, it's truly going to be a diary for myself....

First and foremost, a basic reminder to myself on keeping this blog...

1. Memories are dear. Remember to collect all the times of my life and documRent it.
2. Remember to age wisely through all of life's experiences.

Ah lao once mentioned that Facebooks, MSNs, Blogs are for pple with all the time in the world... maybe I'm really fortunate that now I really have all the time in the world on my hands to create this memorable diary to document down each moments everyday before bb comes along.

Praying hard that I'll remember all this and that I will "Carpe Dieme"~~ Seize each day as it comes along.